Light Enough: II. Andante

I want...

to be safe in my city
and brave in my Being
see visions that only
the fearless are seeing

to behave as a child
in tune with the freeing
and wise enough never
to stifle the dreaming

to be part of the wild
grow effortlessly
fueling roots in the earth
whenever I breathe

to hear music inside
vibrant voice underneath
turning bones to cathedrals
whenever it speaks

to be heart over mind
Love infinitely
never ask in my giving
what's in it for me

to never latch on to
the light selfishly
so here you are, darkness
have all that you need

-r.dilmore

The Nature of This Place

Breakfast - the most important meal of the day. Even more important, I'm finding, is the choice I make as soon as I sit up and stretch for the start of what could easily be the best day of my Life. It's effortless to roll straight over to the desk, flip open the hood of my macbook, and pour through the e-mails and friend requests of the day. But it's incredible what a little spontaneity and will power can do for my mind and body.

This morning it was an easy choice to keep the computer lid shut, put on a pair of shorts, and jump-start my spirit on the right foot. I discovered a surprisingly quiet neighborhood, set back from the all-day-long rush hour traffic. It's one of the most soothing nooks I've found in LA. The houses are so beautiful and unique - each has it's own personality, unlike any other around it. Yet they all feel part of the same community. It's awesome. The streets and sidewalks are clear and clean, and nature is thriving within it. Even the noticeably unpolluted oxygen makes my lungs feel at home. I Love that I can come face to face with trees there. Trees that feel old and strong.

It's obvious how integral nature is to any corner of the Earth and it's mind-blowing how much space is taken up by things that aren't green at all.

After my walk, I came back and stretched. I'm looking forward to learning ways to improve my improvised yoga practices. But it's simply awareness. As soon as I focus attention on my own molecules, I can feel them buzzing with gratitude. A body and spirit awaken for a simple acknowledgment of their existence. Mother Nature made it so easy for us to feel good.

We are designed so incredibly. Systems so intricate that even our own brains cannot comprehend the miraculousness of us. We are filled with every answer we could ever need. All it takes is practice breathing with pure intention, and praising the pieces of our parts. Our cells are the stuff of ancient ancestors and future family members alike. We are the bridge between the generation gaps, the line connecting one dot to another in our own hereditary constellation.

Thank you for this beautiful day. For the sound of smiling voices. For the easy conversations we can have with mockingbirds. For the visible wisdom that grows in the trunks of trees. I know there's Life in everything, there are roots beneath concrete jungles, and I'm actively opening up to embracing and expanding the nature of this place.

Ry

Right Foot Red

Years ago I was quite the athletic little kid but once my priorities were set on music and art, it was like I took all my baseball cards to make a stack of notebooks from 100% recycled materials. Ken Griffey's face is still faintly visible in the fibers of the page I used to pen 'Light Enough'.

It's liberating to move your muscles. Especially the parts of your body and brain you haven't put to good use in a while. Couple weeks ago at home in NY, my right arm was aching in the wake of shaking hands with my first tennis match in roughly six years. Not only were my eyes and nostrils getting reacquainted with the landscape around my high school tennis court, my joints were setting off familiar sighs, remembering the agility and power they've gone so long without. Muscles and memories are not so different. What starts as tiny bits and pieces can quickly turn to, "oh yeah - this is what it's like!" No matter how many years go by, it's good to know I always have an older brother who'll politely obliterate me in any head-to-head contest.

Last night was my very first experience with yoga. I silently walked my bare feet into the room, imagining that the other five visitors setting up their mats were already masters of this practice. Once the lesson had begun, I quickly jettisoned any insecurities - partly out of accepting the As Is-ness of any given moment, but mostly due to the immense focus this art demands. There's really no way to drift elsewhere in your mind when your body and spirit are being guided for an hour and a half through the most intense game of twister you've ever played. Especially when every person around you is actually really good at it. The subtle shift from "I don't know what I'm doing" to "I'm here to learn" suddenly turns insecurity to inspiration. The practice itself was incredibly satisfying and mentally freeing. It's always an awesome thing to feel your body's gratitude for the attention it's been given. I have a long way to go before I perfect my Warrior II or Utthita Parsvakonasana. But it's just like writing these entries - the best choice is to simply begin. Two years down the road, you pat yourself on the back knowing, "Damn, I got good at this!"



I'm excited for new practices, new freedom. I'm thankful for the chance to connect with energy that resonates strongest with me, and I'm lighter for releasing anything else. Being consciously active, especially in times of change, empowers me to take the reins and adapt perfectly to whatever comes next. As my brother voiced to thousands in his valedictory speech, "Refuse to be passive!" You may pull a muscle and feel sore in the morning, but that's only Life's way of acknowledging your awesome choice to take action. It's saying, "Get ready for great things."

...And stretch next time.
R.

Transformation Proclamation

What would you choose if you could transform into any thing, any feeling, any attitude?

Halfway into the heart of 2010... I've known from the start that this would be a powerful year for new thoughts, new sounds, new insights. Once you experience the befores and afters of major change, you sort of develop a sense for the next approaching shift. I felt it so strongly seven years ago, waking up in an instant, truly falling in Love, chasing the dream of being a filmmaker/computer animator. I felt the undeniable metamorphosis taking place again three years ago leading me from New York to California, to an entirely new community of people, creations, and weather patterns. And now, like a windstorm on the cusp of a coming season, it's obvious things are ready for revolution once again.

I've been extremely fortunate to create music every single day since I ventured out to the West Coast in 2007. Being a big-time beginner in this profession/world, I've had the opportunity to make friends with a number of incredibly talented artists, writers, and all sorts of open-hearted individuals who've become some of my favorite and most important teachers. I'm broadening my taste buds, introducing my senses to new melodies and nutritious foods. I'm learning every day to listen closer and speak clearer. But the greatest lesson I've learned in recent years has been to embrace the beautiful uncertainty of things. To see the light at the end of the tunnel without overlooking the meaningful architecture of the tunnel itself.

Right now I'm in the tunnel. Hard to say where I'll be in one month, but I'll be inspired! I have no idea how some current circumstances will pan out, but I trust they will. I'm stretching the reach of my outlook, learning to bend as the wind blows. I can feel the tectonic plates shifting the floorboards beneath me. Even this entry is the start of a fresh step in the path. Life all around is transforming, and I am stoked beyond words to flow with whatever shape this new wave takes. Bound to be something incredible.

Something miraculous.
Ryan

*Awesome photograph in this post by Arian Horbovetz