Cowabunga!

Sh*t (I Swear)

Sometimes I wear the same clothes 8 days in a row.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing a good job.

Sometimes I swear.

Sometimes it's fun to say

"I'm not gonna worry about it"

and put it to music.

I Ain't Gonna by rdilmore

Just say it.

Ry

It's A Boy AND A Girl!

Today I witnessed the birth of a new Ryan Dilmore album. Mother and child are doing great. Labor lasted somewhere between 1 week and 3 years, can't really remember. All I know is I'm excited to start seeing the light of day once again, and the songs are looking forward to sandwiching your ears. I'll keep you posted in the coming weeks as to how one might obtain said beautiful music.

I'm so lucky that I get to do this every day. I'm so grateful for the way you empower my dream.

So with Spotless wrapped up, I woke up this morning with a new melody in my head. It sounds like a dusty old book to me. And I'm realizing Life is too short / sweet to worry about "eh, that doesn't really sound like it could be on the radio - I shouldn't share it." So, here's a little future memory for you.

The simple melody in my head this morning:

I Am by rdilmore

It's friday!! Can't wait to bask in the awesomeness you give to yourself and to the world this weekend.

Ryan Dilmore

filling up with water

Lighten Up!

It's a funny misunderstanding on my part, the idea of searching for clarity... Sometimes I catch myself asking, "What more do I require/where do I need to look to find focus, clarity, peace?" When really, the bottom line is, "What can I get rid of, give away, or eradicate from my mind's carry-on baggage to clear the clutter?" I find that a couple hits from the neti pot, or choosing one of a million forms of meditation allows the music to pour out faster and more freely than a thousand hours of "working at it". I'm practicing the opposite of trying: Doing! (As in Do-ing, not a strange spring-like onomatopoeia.)

While we're on the topic, new album spotless is nearly out of my system. Few more scoops of my new favorite snack and we'll be in business.

lightening the load,

rd

Today

There's music that plays on repeat in my mind, from time to time. Pieces of an unwritten album titled: Have You Seen Today? A song in the form of a question that wakes me up in the middle of the night, the middle of an afternoon, the middle of this sentence, insisting that I make the most of this moment.

Smitten with the pinhole of the universe I get to stare through.

Ryan Dilmore - putting the 'mature' in amateur photography

thankyou

And I'm Like, Fog You

Some people are put on this planet to make us laugh.

Some lows are meant to lift us up.

Some days are perfect opportunities to pat yourself on the back.

Today, a thought-I-thought-I-brushed-away reappeared, the way smudges from your coat sleeve show up when you hastily wipe winter off the car window. (I feel so far beyond the heaviness and limitation of that rock band I was such an enthusiastic part of, and yet I found myself today craving acknowledgement for the songs that I wrote and music I composed for that group. You know, the ones that someone else is now claiming ownership to... And I realize - I know the truth, isn't that sufficient? I wrote some pretty awesome stuff for the band and fueled that engine with pure energy, but the songs and positivity yet to pour out of me will reach altitudes that Anastasia couldn't even begin to fathom. The truth wins, always, so there is no reason to give it anymore attention, Ry.) Well, now that that's cleared up, it's time those smudges disappear once and for all. I'm taking the windshield out altogether. I want to haul ass and permanently mess up my hair in the winds of where I'm headed.

Some days are perfect opportunities to give a sincere fog off to whatever be covering up the big picture. No reason that mirror should ever be cloudy.

And just like that, it's gone.

- ryan dilmore

Calming Sewn

I've spent this week jet lagged in my own made up time zone, at some unspecified point beyond tiredness, beyond reason, where words are falling out as freely as rivers over rooftops on wind-delivered days. See what I mean? It's like shaking up a bowlful of those tiny word-magnets, throwing them against the world's whitest '87 Kenmore fridge, and seeing what sticks. I do enjoy getting my mind out of the picture for a while, befriending poetry and melodies without judgement. I think I'll stay here a bit longer, in the brightness of this black hole.

These new songs are dying to meet you.

You'll be introduced soon, hopefully in some fancy 'ice cream social' setting.

Your patience is beautiful, and I'm fully committed to the Life of this huge little dream.

Lately, I close my eyes and this is everything I see:

Love, Ryan

Oh There You Are, Peter!

Life has been showing up with a lot of coincidences lately. Some are clear and seemingly meaningful signs, others appear to be here to offer only a laugh. And it works! I had two new text messages in my inbox yesterday. I opened my phone, and both memos, 10 minutes apart, were quotes from the movie Hook, by two people living 3,000 miles away from each other. What does this mean! Whether or not this crazy little skip in the matrix is meaning -ful or -less, it's got me thinking happy thoughts and picturing the star I'm setting course for.

I woke up yesterday morning hungry for a very specific food. I went online, and the very first thing I see is a giant picture of the exact vision dancing in my head a moment ago. The very first thing! What does this mean! Whether or not it was a message meant for me, this delicious serendipity has got my insides feeling totally connected to the cosmic powers that be.

We're all kinda craving the same thing anyway. Awesomeness, wholeness, discovering the incredible ways we connect ourselves to everything else... All I need is Love. Woke up this morning to the Beatles, taking over itunes. When all the Beatles records and songs are lined up together, side by side, I can't help but let out a little laugh. Sheer amazement mixed with the highest legal dose of disbelief. How the heck did humans create these masterpieces, and in such a short span of years... and make it look so easy.

I love looking back on the days that my sister, brother, and I would sing the Beatles all day long, gettin' our vitamin C from a pitcher of fresh Ecto Cooler, sporting our favorite colors of kodak sunglasses. Life rules, big time, and I couldn't possibly feel luckier to keep sharing it with the coolest cats in the universe. You keep my altitude always upwards, like Escher's infinite staircase. That's what I love about you.

hungry for love and straight on til morning,

ryan dilmore

Whts Ur Point?

Somedays my mind takes the scenic route in getting to where it's going, always prepared to race through an impromptu marathon of run-on sentences. In songwriting, in speaking, I catch myself putting paragraphs where a single word might be all that's called for. I don't know how to compose super-condensed, abbreviated text messages. U for You and 2 for Too just don't feel right to write.

A guy who doesn't have that problem - my Dad. He's a master of the short and sweet, yet his meaning is always crystal clear. A quality he must have picked up as a signalman in his Navy days. In the time it'll take me to write this journal entry, he could have blinked a flashlight a few times to get the same story across AND ordered a pizza in the process.

He toured the oceans at age 18, he's published two novels, he's one of the most selfless human beings in the universe, and I'm proud of my badass dad on this Veterans Day.

Thank you to every one presently serving our planet, in all the ways you do.

You're simply the best.

.-.. --- ...- .

r

Cello, I Love You

Hello!

Great news: I'm really focusing on bringing a whole new level of Life to this set of new songs. I'm learning as I go how to improve my homemade methods of music-making, and I'm really excited to share what's been growing in the ground of the melodious garden these days.

This week, I met up with my great friend John Delmonico to record some gorgeous cello parts for a song called "Loved This Face Before". Check out for yourself what listeners have been saying:

"Amazing!" -Me

"The strings on this track are absolutely breathtaking." -Famous People

"Awesome... F***ing awesome." -Mom

"I quit music!" -Mozart

Tonight, packing my backpack and guitar for an adventure around the upper east coast.

Thank you for listening!

R.

Fear Less

Why have I gone over two weeks without publishing a new post? It definitely isn't that Life is lacking in stories, people, and general fascination lately. Have I been unknowingly falling asleep to subliminal messages from a fearful voice in the back of my head, questioning whether what I think is worth listening to? Is there some inaudible frequency bullying my stream of consciousness, declaring that my daily state of awe is coming across as preaching to the choir that taught me to sing in the first place? Are the words I choose weighed down with enough whole-heartedness to stay grounded as I pontificate? Maybe some part of me is simply scared to admit that my latest songs are "behind schedule".

Whatever the reason, this sub-surface behavior simply won't do and I vow to remedy the situation right now. A major reason for starting Immaculate Miraculous two months ago was to further practice fearlessness in the face of the unknown, the way we all do everyday. Even a two week commitment to silence with this journal is crucial to the complete picture - rests between notes.

The more unafraid I am to write shitty songs, the more I dare to be uninteresting, the more interesting and creative everything will end up being. Or at least there'll be no negative attachment, because something was actually done / created. When fear is out of the equation, all things are addition.

Adding it up.

ryandilmore

You May Say I'm A Dreamer

For the past three nights, I've been experiencing incredibly vivid dreams. The fade-ins and outs remain hazy when I wake, but certain moments are as crystal clear as any deposit in my lifelong memory bank. I've been finding myself in situations that are so real to my senses. I remember the color and feeling of clothing, the height of the sun, the sound of car doors closing, the couple loose stones on the driveway, being right up next to someone. Even if I could tell my sleeping self "this is just a dream", I'd hesitate to believe it. The whole notion of just a dream seems insulting after nights like these.

Occasionally I'm joined within a dream by songwriters. Imogen Heap, Jason Mraz, and now Patrick Stump, have each co-written songs with me over the years, and sometimes they just show up and sing a new idea they're working on and I'm always floored by how incredible they are. It's their best stuff, in my opinion. Of course, the tragedy is when I open my eyes and the music has vanished. I like to think those melodies still live hidden somewhere in my soul, waiting for the right moment to be shared with the awake version of me. Or maybe they actually are the notes and words that Imogen Heap will find herself jotting down this morning.

A couple nights ago I somehow wound up working on new songs with Patrick Stump. I was getting ready to sing demos for things he'd been writing. We were sitting at a table looking over the lyrics, figuring out how we wanted to arrange the parts and sing each phrase. I was literally holding the printed pages in my hands (I use the term "literally" loosely in this case), and went through every single line of the song. I remember so clearly the nervousness in my stomach, thinking about how impressively I would need to perform, all the while wondering how the heck I was granted this awesome task in the first place. I could feel my molecules energizing with such enthusiasm and awe, convinced that the song I was holding in my hands was pure gold. Of course, I woke up, and the only word I remember is the girl's name he put down in quotations as a temporary placeholder... "Ramsy"... which we both kind of laughed about when we got to that part. "The words won't matter as much as you think. You gotta be fire, let that feeling live."

I wonder if the people we meet up with in our dreams are ever dreaming the same thing, or if they'll even remember. I've been waking up these past few mornings, the heels of my palms pressed firmly against my eyes, in a strange disbelief that I'd been dreaming at all. It's a beautiful gift any time I get to experience something completely lifelike in the dreamworld. And they've been so real lately.

I'm probably dreaming this right now...

"ramsy" sounds more real than "blog".

R.

Together We Will Live Forever

One of the greatest concepts I like to mesmerize my mind with these days is the power of collaboration. It's in our nature to work together. We all Love the songs and melodies that we can harmonize along to. A companion to travel with to new lands. A dance partner.

"What I can do, you cannot. What you can do, I cannot. But together we can do something beautiful" -Mother Teresa

A few things we know about collaboration . . .

When Yellow and Blue paints mix, Green is born.

When tectonic plates collide, mountains are formed.

When Outkast and Queen converge:

Since I first began writing songs, I've spent so much time staying in on Friday nights to fill countless pages and gigabytes with new ideas and reverberations. I've stayed up night after night (tonight was definitely one of these instances) to sit in total darkness, just to get the shivers from listening to the way a guitar and voice can sound so hauntingly pure with the lights off. I've spent so long role-playing the part of the lone lab scientist, determined to unlock for myself the secret to creating living/breathing music. After all these years, the answer is the same as it was back when the first song poured from my pen - it's pretty much spontaneous magic and I don't really understand it.

So when two people get together and into existence comes a new creation, it's even more mystifying. To me, collaborating with different writers and musicians is like adding our own ingredients into a cauldron, anxious to find if we'll be feasting on something exotic and delicious, or if we're stuck with some sort undercooked meatloaf that we accidentally made. I've been really lucky in my experiences. Way more often than not it's been fine dining. The coolest part of working with other people is the effect a joint effort has on the writer in me. Playing an acoustic guitar accompanied by a cello spins entirely different wheels than plugging in an electric guitar in a poorly ventilated rehearsal space with a rock band, or pounding the keys of some 80's sci-fi synth to the ass-kicking beat thundering from a subwoofer. There are just way too many "genres" of music to ever think I could settle on just one and feel musically satisfied. That's why I'm so thankful for all the people in my Life, musician or not, for supplying the awesome (and environmentally friendly) fuel required to do what I do, and to be who I am. We're All In This Together.

Some may find it's not the meal they hoped for, some may find it blasphemous, but here are some examples of attention-catching cross-breeding I've recently come across:

Thanks, Youtube and Wikipedia, for providing endless volumes of entertainment and interesting knowledge to enhance the flavor of an otherwise pretty bland body of text.

And Thank You for the constant high-frequency energy you radiate into the atmosphere. Believe me, it's been mixing heavily into my music and my dreams lately. I look forward to the world we'll create together.

Without U I'm just

ryan doglas dilmore

Q: What Goes Around...

It's funny how kids want to be older - to stay up late, to see movies unsupervised, to eat as many cookies as their father eats.

It's funny how we reach a point where the weight of that desire flips to the opposite side of the scale and we start looking back like we just drove past our destination in a car that refuses to stop.

Luckily I was a child with two older siblings, which provided some of the advantages earned by kids a couple years older while I was still struggling to pronounce the letter R correctly. But I made up for it by being a hilarious little brother. Thanks, guys.

10 years ago, I thought adulthood would be a lousy way to lose the excitement and adventurous freedom of youth. Who would be there to assemble the mind-blowingly complex LEGO inventions that only an imaginative kid can create? Who's gonna tap into the unlimited possibilities inside that Bob Ross paint set that I never did open? My Dad loved hearing my qualms with growing up, always ready to interject with a number of reasons why getting older is the shit! He was so right. And the best part is we're all learning to be sort of Benjamin Button-like in our own ways, realizing Age and Aliveness are not destined to cancel each other out. We're As Young As We Feel We Are.

Sounds like this is the part where I advertise some new age-eliminating milkshake and how it's helped me keep my childlike physique over the years. "And Still Eat All The Carbs You Crave!" But this is all I have to show you...

A: Comes Around (wind permitting)

I originally started writing this entry to mention the awesome ways the world has been replenishing the things I've let fly over the years. It's like being handed a dollar bill upon which you wrote your name in red ink ten years earlier, to find that someone along its journey added the word "sucks", which someone else crossed off and replaced with an arrow that points to George Washington's newly-bearded face. What was at one time only an ordinary dollar bill is now a piece of art, and the very first vote in your favor should you ever grow a beard and run for president. You can't put a price on that.

One of my favorite people on the west coast says, "You meet someone, then you meet them again," encouraging me to trust the full-circleness of all things, that even missed opportunities and unfinished conversations will have a place down the line. And also to remind me to make an honest connection with everyone I meet, for they may be my greatest friend, supporter, or Love interest when we reconnect at some distant mark on our timeline.

This very afternoon, a crazy thing happened. Heading south on Highland Ave, Los Angeles, in the final second before putting on his shades and concealing his face, I recognized someone I'd met 5 years ago, and only in upstate NY. And there he was walking into a restaurant 2,500 miles from NY, in a city of nearly 4 million people, the exact second I was passing by. Sure, it wasn't some monumental reunion of a dear friend or rendezvous with Elvis, but to me this stuff is on par with glitches in the matrix and malfunctions in the lucid dream. I'm always left mystified. Over 6 billion people on Earth yet I find proof everyday to see that we're all just part of one big neighborhood. It's a small world, after all. And I am so thankful for the eight of you in the universe right now reading these elaborate run on sentences broadcasting my constant state of awe atop this revolving planet. You empower these words to live beyond the pages of a dust-collecting notebook. Who knows, maybe in ten years we'll meet up and laugh about how long-winded and tangential my writing used to be, or how I used to be such a good guy before the millions of readers eventually went to my head, or the way some billionaire invested in my brother's videogames and my father's best-selling novels after finding their links on Immaculate Miraculous. "Stranger things have happened both before and after noon." -Anthony Kiedis

To: Life - my foam boomerang,

I want to throw you as hard as I possibly can

so we'll know all the world when I see you again

And tell that girl with the pigtails to watch it, she's really gonna hurt someone.

Alive and amazed, no matter what age.

See you again.

Ryan Dilmore

Back That Thing Up

Slowly as a steady pulse, the tiny lightbulb on my macbook seems more like a heart monitor tonight, showing healthy signs of a rejuvenated machine. Welcome back to Life, young friend. First '09 now '10. I don't know what it is about this time of year that suddenly shoots an allergic reaction into the motherboard beneath my fingers, but it gets me worried sick for the first 10 minutes, followed by seven straight days of creative liberation.

Mercury isn't in retrograde this time, and I've ruled out the threat of a faulty power source. It's a mystifying event that can only be understood through an imagination's interpretation. It appears as though the laptop signed on for an annual weeklong vacation to some Narnia or NeverLand-like world where it's free to relax and forget about cnn.com, text edit, and this horrible four letter b-word that I still haven't gotten used to. For all the energy and possibility it provides on a daily basis, a spontaneous week off in the summer seems totally justified, and I am happy (and grateful, now) to oblige. I can think of so many people who completely earn the right to slip out of their spreadsheets and recline into something a little more tropical more often than they do. We all know how essential a new adventure is, to our own lives and the collective Damn, I Feel Good-ness of our planet. Even a minor change, to give yourself permission to focus only on the fruits that fuel your soul for today, will inevitably fit new puzzle pieces together in the big big picture.

I don't think it can be mere coincidence, the similarities that link the Crash of 2009 and the Freeze of 2010. Both occurred in mid-summer weeks of recording new songs, just as soon as I announce a release date for another homebaked solo album. After the fact, I try so hard to go back in my mind to the moment just before the collapse. Was it something I said? Was it something I thought?

All too often I'm reminded that Life is always listening. Not in a frightening "You better be careful what you wish for!" sort of way, more in a "Santa's bringing exactly what you wanted this year, wrapped in some very deceiving boxes." I realized both last year and last week that my journal entries and general thinking were focused on nature in the days surrounding each iLeave of Absence. Verses and choruses begging to see Los Angeles through the eyes of its native Tongva and Chumash inhabitants. Drawings of trees. The common self-inquiring question, "Have You Seen Today?" meaning, "it's no wonder I'm so pale and near-sighted, I've been locking eyes with this screen for hours in my dimly lit apartment."

(Sidenote: I'm really looking forward to one day having a home with large windows to utilize the unconditionally radiant light that doesn't really rise or set through the single curtain of my current space.)

You don't need a private eye to decipher what's been going on here. If I fuel myself with thoughts of Nature, inviting my mind to drift away from anything that beeps or buzzes to be surrounded with those that... produce a million other, more beautiful sounds,

then

Life acts accordingly without necessarily waiting for me to make the first move. She's so good at saying, "You supplied the thought, I'll take it from here." Two seconds later my phone busts into three pieces, my computer goes on immediate vacation, as I suddenly find myself outdoors three pages into a 10 page pen-to-paper journal entry on feeling freer than ever.

It's been an awesome seven days of drawing and writing. The aching in my fingers from pens and pencils is a beautiful hurt that I haven't felt in far too long. New doors have been opened in my thinking, as I flip through my journal saying, "Now this is starting to look like it belongs to an artist."

I intend to spend more time away from the computer every day, to write more songs without limiting their lives to what "a song should sound like," and to combine the urgency of "live like I'm dying" with the attitude of "live because I'm freaking alive!" I don't think I should even mention the collection of books I plan to release at some point before the Crumble of 2011.

I'm off to take a page out of Juvenile's book of worldly wisdom and back this thing up.

R.

Excuse My Grammar While My Thoughts Meander

There's no better time to clear the fear than 5am. The careful hours when the moon chooses a new perfume, knowing that the closest star is coming over soon.

I wish I could post the huge canvas of the moon and sun I see in my head... maybe one day when I learn to paint I can vivify this wordy space.

My body's been awake way too long for my mind to judge any melodies being broadcast through my system. It's a beautiful feeling to be so unpredictably close to shut-eye, when words and music just pour out onto paper and all I do is watch it happen. "This is the best music I've ever written" - only a good morning's sleep will tell if these drowsy claims are at all accurate. Thankfully my molecular microphones are always on Record, to capture the sensory details that my sleepiness will surely cause my eyes and ears to miss, and to play them back in dreams or hazy memories in days to come. The liberating unselfcounsciousness of these super late/early hours mixed with the spark-starting impulses of music I hadn't experienced before, inspires me to be highly creative, or simply unfiltered, or at the very least incapable of knowing the difference. It's incredible, the chemistry sets at our constant disposal. Adding a few hours past bedtime to this meal and these specific thoughts throughout the day just to see what sort of new ideas arise in the middle of the night... What if I hadn't been listening to Julian Casablancas' new album for the first time, or if I started writing three hours earlier, how different would the pages of my journals look tonight? Would they even exist at all?

Tonight was workshop session number 2 at the home school atop Laurel Canyon. Have I mentioned how lucky I am to be surrounded by such talented and wildly awesome human beings... Shame on me for ever fooling myself into believing for a second that inspiring individuals existed in certain places and not others. Or that communities had to already be in existence for me to find them. This remarkable three-year adventure in California started out as a two-week visit that just never ended, and I've been something way beyond fortunate to find myself alongside the founding members of so many amazing little communities along the way. Some of them appeared the way shooting stars, names of people that inexplicably slip your mind when you need them, and missing keys do - the second you stop trying so hard to search, they show up. I never planned on moving to California, I never planned on playing for 2 years in a rock band, or even imagined I'd be in this workshop. Thankfully my parents taught me to dream huge as soon as I woke up in this world / And my brother and sister have always encouraged flying on the winds less traveled by / And all my friends and co-travelers through twentythree years remind me to stay focused on the core of what I truly want, and that all the steps along the way are gonna move, some without permission, always happening FOR us not TO us. Thankfully I've been too mesmerized by the meandering streams to turn back or attempt to force them to flow elsewhere. These are the paths that have always led to the brilliant chapters in my story. I trust them wholeheartedly. I really do.

Sounds like I have a lot of thanking to do.

Goodnight Moon...you smell nice.

RyanzzZZzzzz

I Dream In French

I find that whenever I doze off in a new place, I tend to have the most elaborate and vivid dreams. Almost as though the room around me has just as much say in what's playing inside my brain as any other ingredients that go into creating the world I see in my sleep. Does everybody feel this? Different locations on Earth trigger unique synapses in my head, each position on the globe delivering its own locally-grown snooze nutrients to my subconscious self, keeping me energized as I protect the innocent from public transportation assassins or listen intently to Imogen Heap's one-on-one songwriting lesson as she urgently lectures at a piano inside a dark room quickly flooding with water. Wish I could post screenshots from that one. I should add that the piano sounded amazing as the water reached the keys. Something to look into.

I finally (two days after the release) got to see Inception - so good. A theater filled with people anxiously biting their nails and dropping their jaws as I failed to hold together the pieces of my freshly blown mind. I'm a sucker for an extraordinary story and my wife-from-another-Life Marion Cotillard.

If tonight was only just a dream,

how will I explain you to the real me...

ryan.dilmore

Good Morning, Miss Bliss

Sure there may be wicked smog lingering above the ass-stained streets of my current neighborhood... and true I never know what to say to Catwoman as she riddles off her daily dilemmas in the fresh fruit section of the grocery store... but let it be known that Los Angeles shows up to my door time after time with the coolest opportunities to mingle and muse with the greatest folks around.

It's been nearly two years since I first came in contact with the supermassive gravitational pull of Matthew Puckett and Jeremy Silver. And it was just a couple short months later that SpaceHeat sonically boomed into the universe. It was never part of my musical plans to fashion the sort of melodies and beats that'll catch the attention of Timberlake and Bieber, but oh what a danceable ride it's been.

Where there's Heat, there's fire

Every session is like going to school where the walls wear vinyl records and soundproof foam, where the dress code is "the same clothes I wore last night", and the teachers are pulled straight off the glossy front page of future issues of Rolling Stone. Lunch count still leaves room for improvement, but overall school rules.

It's no coincidence that I met these musical geniuses in a classroom-like setting, in a songwriters workshop along with a number of other incredible new friends. And I could not be happier to be their peer in yet another workshop this summer. This new school is atop an upward stream of winding roads, amidst the homes that housed Joni Mitchell, Jim Morrison, and some other folks you may have heard of. The desks at this school are plastic green deck chairs (or the two-seater bench swing, if you're lucky). I got a check plus on my first assignment and I cannot wait to find out what becomes of the coming weeks.

Alright, my alarm gave out a warning. Meeting up with Jeremy in the studio to help out with his new album (dropping this Fall)! And if you haven't purchased it already, pick up Matthew Puckett's latest! You'll thank yourself for the musical nutrients it undeniably provides. If you watch Boston Med on ABC, you already know Matthew Puckett's music. These classmates set a really high bar.

...I don't think I'm gonna make it on time,

Ryan

I Saw The Sign

Wandering through San Diego today - land that I Love. The town has always been a friend I'm undeniably interested in getting to know better, but she'll have work, or I'll be writing... It's time we excuse the excuses and be true to our connection. Life has been posting up constant reminders that All of this is a gift, that Now is always the right time to go where our gut tells us, to shine positive light as we go forward, and to say the things our lungs aren't shy to lay out on the table.

It's a new day and I vow to play more than the role of Hungry Bystander.

Let's be brave and do awesome stuff.

See you soon,

Ryan

We're All On Top Of It

I've been writing/recording a bunch of new Ryan Dilmore songs in my quaint California apartment. I've lived in 5 different places since I moved to L.A., with a number of different roommates and real-life cartoon characters (and occasionally their pet of choice). If you've ever moved in with total strangers or searched craigslist for a roof to sleep beneath, I'm sure you share the desire I have to write a book about the adventures. A book that ends with the line, "I'm so glad that's all over." I'm grateful for every temporary co-tenant, it makes having my own space now all the more liberating! I can play guitar whenever I want, I can check my pants at the door, I can do all the things Kevin McCallister did and more.

Another thing - it's so awesome to thread creativity into only positive fabrics these days. Sharing my energy with the brilliant and enthusiastic practices and partnerships. I Love having more time lately to focus on being an individual, developing the artist that I am. Free to sing the songs I want, play the chords I want.

Here's a song I was inspired to write last month. Go ahead, take it for its first spin.

{ On Top Of It }

It was the perfect exercise in accidentally writing a whole tune in under 5 minutes. Quite a contrast from the 2-years-to-finish-this-chorus method I use all too often, which can totally drain the joy right out of the songwriting experience. Songs are meant to be sung, not worked on for eternity. To remedy this, I'm practicing every day to get out of the way, to be the mysterious channel that so many creators speak of. Openness.

Keep the Change,

ryan

Life On Earth

"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children."

I want to be a heart who takes action. It'll never feel right to be a voice that talks about how dirty the river is and do very little to clean it up. It's pretty horrifying to know entire habitats and views as beautiful as these are currently choking on oil. What if the leak began where I'm standing, and I never got to see what I'm seeing now ... This is possibly the most stunning spot on Earth I've been, and I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have woken up today in this unspoiled paradise.

There's a neighborhood back home in NY that has truly become a sanctuary for my own creativity and wholeness. What if that place were flooded with petroleum? What action can I take starting now to protect the Life I Love?

So many positive do-ers and circumstances have inspired me these past few years to conserve energy, erase wasteful behavior, and understand that we each make a billion daily decisions that undeniably have an effect on the whole shebang.

"When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe." -John Muir

There are so many unbelievable songs and seas and people I've yet to meet on Earth, and I know there are an infinite number of ways for me to give more Right Now for the present planet and for the children and landscapes hereafter.

On your side,

Ryan

Adventure is out there

I'm a seed that lands on a bird's wing, or the dust speck that finds its way to Horton the elephant. I Love being a traveler to new terrain and I'm so lucky to be caught in the momentum of what's already on the move.

Light Enough: II. Andante

I want...

to be safe in my city
and brave in my Being
see visions that only
the fearless are seeing

to behave as a child
in tune with the freeing
and wise enough never
to stifle the dreaming

to be part of the wild
grow effortlessly
fueling roots in the earth
whenever I breathe

to hear music inside
vibrant voice underneath
turning bones to cathedrals
whenever it speaks

to be heart over mind
Love infinitely
never ask in my giving
what's in it for me

to never latch on to
the light selfishly
so here you are, darkness
have all that you need

-r.dilmore

The Nature of This Place

Breakfast - the most important meal of the day. Even more important, I'm finding, is the choice I make as soon as I sit up and stretch for the start of what could easily be the best day of my Life. It's effortless to roll straight over to the desk, flip open the hood of my macbook, and pour through the e-mails and friend requests of the day. But it's incredible what a little spontaneity and will power can do for my mind and body.

This morning it was an easy choice to keep the computer lid shut, put on a pair of shorts, and jump-start my spirit on the right foot. I discovered a surprisingly quiet neighborhood, set back from the all-day-long rush hour traffic. It's one of the most soothing nooks I've found in LA. The houses are so beautiful and unique - each has it's own personality, unlike any other around it. Yet they all feel part of the same community. It's awesome. The streets and sidewalks are clear and clean, and nature is thriving within it. Even the noticeably unpolluted oxygen makes my lungs feel at home. I Love that I can come face to face with trees there. Trees that feel old and strong.

It's obvious how integral nature is to any corner of the Earth and it's mind-blowing how much space is taken up by things that aren't green at all.

After my walk, I came back and stretched. I'm looking forward to learning ways to improve my improvised yoga practices. But it's simply awareness. As soon as I focus attention on my own molecules, I can feel them buzzing with gratitude. A body and spirit awaken for a simple acknowledgment of their existence. Mother Nature made it so easy for us to feel good.

We are designed so incredibly. Systems so intricate that even our own brains cannot comprehend the miraculousness of us. We are filled with every answer we could ever need. All it takes is practice breathing with pure intention, and praising the pieces of our parts. Our cells are the stuff of ancient ancestors and future family members alike. We are the bridge between the generation gaps, the line connecting one dot to another in our own hereditary constellation.

Thank you for this beautiful day. For the sound of smiling voices. For the easy conversations we can have with mockingbirds. For the visible wisdom that grows in the trunks of trees. I know there's Life in everything, there are roots beneath concrete jungles, and I'm actively opening up to embracing and expanding the nature of this place.

Ry

Right Foot Red

Years ago I was quite the athletic little kid but once my priorities were set on music and art, it was like I took all my baseball cards to make a stack of notebooks from 100% recycled materials. Ken Griffey's face is still faintly visible in the fibers of the page I used to pen 'Light Enough'.

It's liberating to move your muscles. Especially the parts of your body and brain you haven't put to good use in a while. Couple weeks ago at home in NY, my right arm was aching in the wake of shaking hands with my first tennis match in roughly six years. Not only were my eyes and nostrils getting reacquainted with the landscape around my high school tennis court, my joints were setting off familiar sighs, remembering the agility and power they've gone so long without. Muscles and memories are not so different. What starts as tiny bits and pieces can quickly turn to, "oh yeah - this is what it's like!" No matter how many years go by, it's good to know I always have an older brother who'll politely obliterate me in any head-to-head contest.

Last night was my very first experience with yoga. I silently walked my bare feet into the room, imagining that the other five visitors setting up their mats were already masters of this practice. Once the lesson had begun, I quickly jettisoned any insecurities - partly out of accepting the As Is-ness of any given moment, but mostly due to the immense focus this art demands. There's really no way to drift elsewhere in your mind when your body and spirit are being guided for an hour and a half through the most intense game of twister you've ever played. Especially when every person around you is actually really good at it. The subtle shift from "I don't know what I'm doing" to "I'm here to learn" suddenly turns insecurity to inspiration. The practice itself was incredibly satisfying and mentally freeing. It's always an awesome thing to feel your body's gratitude for the attention it's been given. I have a long way to go before I perfect my Warrior II or Utthita Parsvakonasana. But it's just like writing these entries - the best choice is to simply begin. Two years down the road, you pat yourself on the back knowing, "Damn, I got good at this!"



I'm excited for new practices, new freedom. I'm thankful for the chance to connect with energy that resonates strongest with me, and I'm lighter for releasing anything else. Being consciously active, especially in times of change, empowers me to take the reins and adapt perfectly to whatever comes next. As my brother voiced to thousands in his valedictory speech, "Refuse to be passive!" You may pull a muscle and feel sore in the morning, but that's only Life's way of acknowledging your awesome choice to take action. It's saying, "Get ready for great things."

...And stretch next time.
R.

Transformation Proclamation

What would you choose if you could transform into any thing, any feeling, any attitude?

Halfway into the heart of 2010... I've known from the start that this would be a powerful year for new thoughts, new sounds, new insights. Once you experience the befores and afters of major change, you sort of develop a sense for the next approaching shift. I felt it so strongly seven years ago, waking up in an instant, truly falling in Love, chasing the dream of being a filmmaker/computer animator. I felt the undeniable metamorphosis taking place again three years ago leading me from New York to California, to an entirely new community of people, creations, and weather patterns. And now, like a windstorm on the cusp of a coming season, it's obvious things are ready for revolution once again.

I've been extremely fortunate to create music every single day since I ventured out to the West Coast in 2007. Being a big-time beginner in this profession/world, I've had the opportunity to make friends with a number of incredibly talented artists, writers, and all sorts of open-hearted individuals who've become some of my favorite and most important teachers. I'm broadening my taste buds, introducing my senses to new melodies and nutritious foods. I'm learning every day to listen closer and speak clearer. But the greatest lesson I've learned in recent years has been to embrace the beautiful uncertainty of things. To see the light at the end of the tunnel without overlooking the meaningful architecture of the tunnel itself.

Right now I'm in the tunnel. Hard to say where I'll be in one month, but I'll be inspired! I have no idea how some current circumstances will pan out, but I trust they will. I'm stretching the reach of my outlook, learning to bend as the wind blows. I can feel the tectonic plates shifting the floorboards beneath me. Even this entry is the start of a fresh step in the path. Life all around is transforming, and I am stoked beyond words to flow with whatever shape this new wave takes. Bound to be something incredible.

Something miraculous.
Ryan

*Awesome photograph in this post by Arian Horbovetz